Thursday, October 26, 2006


Not a poem, more of a brag, or perhaps even a rant... last November my kids novel 'Janie Olive- a Recipe for Disaster!' was published by Scholastic. It's now into a third print run and made the Notable Book List this year. One would then assume that I am now driving about in a Beamer, and contemplating buying a wee pad in Chelsea. Not so- this IS New Zealand. Print runs are small, royalties get paid twice a year, when the publisher remembers and no-one outside of NZ and Australia will have ever heard of me. I am still getting about in my dinged up 1988 Galant that sports it's own microsytem- there is a bit of weed growing, yes growing, out of the frame. I suspect if I was to pull the bodywork off I would find an entire root system in place stretching from one end to the other. I'm curiously fond of it though and a little bit proud too, it's a kind of living artwork. I am thinking of entering the car in the next Venice Bienale. But back to books... Janie Olive is a great read and I have a loyal fan base of school kids who want another one, so to that end, I have just finished the first draft of 'Glory', a sequel. It's all about people who never get prizes (I would include myself in that one) and is dedicated to everyone who was robbed of the one award they thought they'd get at school. For me it was the 6th Form Art History Prize. When 'Glory' gets published (one day, God willing) I plan to have a great book launch where everyone will be encouraged to bring the name of the prize they didn't get and I will fill them out a special certificate- I may hire a calligrapher for the event, and they can go away with the art, biology or 50 metres freestyle award that has bugged them for years. What do you think? Is it a goer? In the meantime, support your local industry and buy NZ books. J.K Rowling is rich enough and there is some awesome talent here at home if you look past the racks of 'No 1 Best Seller in the U.K' at Whitcoulls and Dymocks.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Dutch Treat

Ah, I see I have been lax in my blogging. One might think I've been taking substances which might hinder my progress. Alas, giving way to middle age and finding half a glass of wine these days has me disabled for days, I have not. Any drugs other than paracetamol are a no go zone, but this doesn't stop street hawkers trying to sell their wares abroad, as I found out in Holland a couple of years ago...

Dutch Treat

At a pleasant bar in Amsterdam,
Observing wild life,
I bring to it experience,
Of motherhood and wife…

On the way to my cold Heineken
I met a dodgy bloke,
Who offered me some cannabis
Two ecstasy, and coke.

Whilst very slightly flattered
That I looked the type to buy
(Not too middle aged, or straight
And ready for a high)

I wondered what would happen
To my nuclear family
If throwing caution to the wind,
I took a tab of ‘E’.

Would the cooking of the dinner then,
Become a feast of love,
And the dirty dishes, sensual,
When touched by rubber glove?

The kids would seem angelic
And my husband really deep,
Or would I follow true to form?
Throw up, then fall asleep?